Proper hydration is the foundation of any training plan. At CrossFurr, we encourage members to drink regularly, preferably from a source that is not the bowl we provided.
The Bowl
Our research, which involved watching, shows that most cats treat the bowl as a decorative object. It is filled daily, admired briefly, and ignored. Coach Tuna calls this the Bowl Paradox and has asked the staff not to think about it for long.
Alternative Sources
- The dripping tap, rated four stars for drama
- The glass on the bedside table, rated five stars if placed near the edge
- The flower vase, rated three stars due to flowers
- The shower floor, rated two stars, warm but unreliable
- A puddle, rated variable
Hydration and Performance
A well hydrated cat jumps higher, lands softer, and recovers faster. A dehydrated cat is slow, irritable, and prone to staring at the glass while pretending not to want it. The coaches recommend a drink after every circuit.
Sip slowly and deliberately. Gulping is for dogs and for kittens on their first day. A true athlete takes three laps of the tongue, pauses, looks around, and continues.
Signs You Need Water
- A dry nose, which can also mean you were asleep
- Sudden interest in the sink
- Following a human to the bathroom for no reason
- A mournful look at an empty glass
The Splash Drill
Place a paw in the water bowl and flick. This increases wrist flexibility and ensures that the surrounding floor is also hydrated. It is the only drill we do that results in a puddle and an apology.
Please remember to stay hydrated, and be gentle with the glassware.
A Note on Ice Cubes
Some members have asked about ice cubes. These are acceptable, provided they are batted across the floor and chased until they disappear. They provide hydration, entertainment, and a small mystery about where the water went.
The staff will not be commenting on the cube that is still under the fridge.
This guide is satire and does not contain real medical advice.